Alfonso the leading worry

The Sports Illustrated cover doesn't bother me. That's because the Japanese phrase above Kosuke Fukudome's steely-faced photo -- translation: ''It's Gonna Happen'' -- is from an inaccurate sign waved by one of his bandana-wrapped fans in right field. Briefly there, I thought he was trying to one-up Ryan Dempster, Sam Zell and Ronny Cedeno in their inane game to create World Series fever in April.

But it turns out The Fukudomer wasn't even aware of the 100-year spell when he signed with the Cubs, meaning he has no interest in burying it with boasts. And, having overcome a 53-year drought when he helped the Chunichi Dragons to a Japan Series title, the man doesn't believe in hexes anyway. The combination of a Cubs curse and SI curse, two of the most notorious maledictions in American pop culture, could be viewed as a supernatural double-whammy capable of causing devastating harm to the ongoing Cubbie dream. Yet when Fukudome himself has interpreted the so-called ''It's Gonna Happen'' banner to mean ''It's An Accident,'' just how seriously should we treat any of this stuff?

Consider it the latest reason why Fukudome must wonder what kind of wacky country we have here, along with seventh-inning singers and fans who bow and throw flurries of baseballs into the grass.

''Maybe it's a lot of people who are not on the cover saying it's a jinx,'' he said through his interpreter. ''But it's me playing. So I will do my best not to follow in the footsteps of other people who were on the cover.''

Like, um, Kerry Wood, the last Cubs rookie to grace an SI cover.

If John Madden ever expands his video-game empire to include baseball and places him on the cover, then you can fret about a Fukudome jinx. Until then, the biggest worry on the perpetually paranoiac planet known as Cubdom is Alfonso Soriano. During his most recent two-week stay on the disabled list, this time for a right calf strain, the Cubs missed him about as much as, well, the San Francisco Giants miss Barry Zito in the rotation. It isn't fair, I realize, to compare a slow-starting, $136 million Soriano to the $126 million pitching bust that is Zito. But successive stumbles out of the gate, along with lingering injuries and his playoff stinker against Arizona last fall, are prompting media and fans to ask if the Cubs are better off without Soriano. This as they stumble through a rough stretch, with a 10-7 loss Tuesday night to Milwaukee giving them four losses in five games.

FIRST OFFICIAL CRISIS COMING UP

At the very least, why risk clogging up a potent lineup by keeping him in the leadoff hole, where he has slugged an extraordinary number of solo home runs but performed few of the job's fundamental functions? In one mighty span during his absence, the offense scored 65 runs in eight games, including seven or more runs six times. It gave Cubdom a chance to fall in love with Reed Johnson, who successfuly led off and cemented his place in cult lore last week with a catch so spectacular, the YouTube mechanism paused in shock. Wrigley folk always love the Reed Johnsons, Ryan Theriots and Mike Fontenots of the world, knowing them as underdogs who define the Cub existence better than a free-swinging, selfish outfielder who signed the sport's fifth-richest financial package ever.

So, when Soriano returns as the leadoff man and left fielder Thursday, Cubdom will have its first official crisis of 2008. If he no longer is a unique force capable of 40 homers and 40 stolen bases -- the reason general manager Jim Hendry spent so much coin on him -- why not bat him fifth or sixth in the order and maximize his power abilities? When was the last time you saw him try to coax a walk out of a pitcher? How many steals do his fragile legs have left in them? How often is he not uncoiling that rubber-band-man swing and trying to launch a pitch over the fence? Isn't he just a solo artist playing as a warm-up act for a superband? Is any of this selfishness really conducive to winning? Wouldn't he be an explosive complement to the monstrous Derrek Lee, who now has eight homers, and Fukudome and Aramis Ramirez in the middle of the order?

As yet, Lou Piniella isn't budging. He has no desire to use Soriano anywhere but atop the order, even though he's known as an innovatator open to any option. It suggests that Soriano, whose statistics are appreciably better as a leadoff hitter, has a verbal understanding with Hendry dating back to his signing that he prefers leading off. Or, perhaps closer to the truth, Hendry is trying to force-feed the continuing 40-40 fantasy as a way of justifying Soriano's staggering price at a time when Zell and Tribune Co. are reeling. When a shift in the lineup makes this much sense -- based on Soriano's inconsistent first season, bad postseason and a second season in which he's batting .175 with two homers and two steals -- it's curious to see Piniella so adamant when his expertise is rooted in flexibility.

''If we hadn't been winning, they'd say, 'Boy, these guys really miss Soriano.' It was unfair,'' Piniella said. ''These guys have all done a nice job here, but if Soriano had been in there, we'd be playing the same way or a little better.

''He gives us more power. He can put runs on the board with a swing of the bat. He brings speed to the equation, plus he has fun. That can be infectious. ... He can carry you when he's hitting ... the way he can.''

CLOCK RUNNING FOR PINIELLA

We saw as much last September, when he earned his money with 14 homers, 27 RBI and a .320 average. We saw as much last June, too, when he hit .336 with 11 homers. But between a strained right quad last August and the calf strain this month, Soriano seems vulnerable to injuries at all times. ''If I play the rest of the season healthy, I can steal 30 bases,'' he said. ''My speed is there.''

But at $136 million, no one is in the mood to hear disclaimers. And when an expensive piece of talent is so brittle that he injures himself while hopping to catch a simple fly ball, it's disconcerting.

Since throwing the tantrum last June that turned around a season, coincidence or not, most of Lou's decisions have been met by glowing approval. So, for now, we will give him the benefit of the doubt. But in this climate, with so much at stake in the 100-year march, there's a timetable involved for Soriano to appease the anxious masses.

He has until about 4 p.m. Thursday.

Photo: Gregory Shamus, Getty Images / More fans are wondering if the Cubs are better off without Alfonso Soriano. ;